I Just Don't Care
Have you ever seen those people who really don't care what anyone thinks? They seem to have an independent streak that sets them apart from everyone else. They may wear tennis shoes with an Armani suit or get a part time job at Starbucks so they can spend half their time surfing. There are many variations on the theme, but however they express themselves, the main point is that they don't care what the "rules" are; they merely care what they want to do. They are completely unabashedly individualistic. They come from all walks of life. I once met a young man from Beverly Hills who felt that he was a non-conformist because he changed his own oil in his car instead of going to the service station. That's a form of rule breaking, I guess. It's all relative. If a person is from an upper middle class family, and decides to go to trade school instead of university, that may be seen by family and friends as a radical departure. On the other hand, a person from a working class family who decides to go to college instead of working in the steel mill like three generations before him could equally be considered a radical. There is no single way to be individualistic. But however you define individualism, there is clearly a group of people who just don't care what society thinks, what their families think, or what happens to them. They go their own way. How often do you go your own way? Are you constantly worried what people will think? It's hard not to go your own way, but if you can go your own way, you can trade like a master.
Many times, people get stuck on the notion that they absolutely must follow some set of rules. For example, a trader may think, "I have to make enough money this month to meet my monthly living expenses." This may be a rational, adaptive way to think, but is it absolutely true? There may be consequences for not making very much money, but in reality, you don't have to make any money at all in the end. You could afford to charge a month's worth of expenses if you wanted to, for example. I'm not suggesting that you do so. I'm just trying to make a point: In the final analysis, you do not have to do anything or pay attention to anyone else's rules if you do not want to. You can do anything that you want. This is a very useful thinking strategy when trading the markets.
Again, many times, people get it stuck in their head that they absolutely must do something, whether it is making $100 or $10,000. When they start thinking that they absolutely must do something, they start to put pressure on themselves to perform. Next, they start to feel a little stressed out. And then they can't think creatively. They stagnate and may not find creative, high probability setups. They would be better off thinking, "Who cares? I don't have to do anything. Whatever I make is what I make, and that's all that matters." Psychologists call this phenomenon the "paradox of control." When you put pressure on yourself and try to control your environment, you choke. When you think, "Who cares?" and completely forget about trying to gain control, however, it is a big relief. The pressure is off, and you start thinking creatively. In other words, when you try to gain complete control, you end up losing control. When you don't seem to care about gaining control, you ironi cally end up controlling things more than if you had consciously tried to gain complete control.
I'm not suggesting that you change the way you dress or that you completely become irresponsible. I am merely suggesting that there are those times when we put pressure on ourselves to perform, and ironically, when we push ourselves beyond our abilities, we usually choke and get nowhere. So when you are feeling stuck and in a rut, ease up. Tell yourself, "Who cares? I'm doing it my way." You'll find you feel relieved, calm, and ironically, ready to trade at your best.
